There’s been yet more Becky drama over the last few days…

Yesterday she was handling introductions for a new starter, as she does. She got to me and described me as “assisting” my manager. This is one of those things… yes, technically, I assist him, but my job title is software developer, and you could argue that he assists me in achieving the development of software. I let it go, but anyone else would have just referred to me as a developer and I do think there was a certain amount of passive-aggression in there. This is a big improvement though, she used to just skip over me during rounds of introductions! If this happens again I’ll stop her and say “Becky, if you aren’t sure what my job title is, perhaps you should ask”.

Today we passed each other on the stairs and I said hello to her. She ignored me. Then without thinking I said “Aren’t we speaking to each other then?”, and she ignored me. I was really annoyed by this and after going back to my desk for a few minutes I decided I needed to go back outside and have a 5 minute walk, which did help. Later on we passed each other in the corridor and she tried very hard not to make eye contact, until she did, then quickly looked away. She is so outwardly self confident around everyone else, yet with me she’s a strange mix of extremely rude and extremely timid. I wouldn’t have the self confidence to be as rude to anyone else as she is to me, and yet, a total lack of self confidence is also not an unreasonable interpretation of her behaviour. I find this very confusing.

I’m a bit worried I’m going to have an awkward chat with HR … “Becky says you were rude to her on the stairs….”, but I’m proud of myself for saying it. It shows I’m getting some self confidence back.

I’m a little bit wary of HR’s involvement here. The HR lady and Becky went out for lunch together a few weeks ago which seems like  glaring conflict of interest since she’s supposed to be ‘mediating’ between us. The email I sent last week didn’t go anywhere. I asked for a meeting but didn’t get one (phew), but HR offered to ‘relay my concerns’ to Becky. I agreed to that, but I didn’t get any confirmation or acknowledgement either from Becky or HR. It was obviously important enough to me that I sent an email about it – why don’t I get an acknowledgement? I’m left feeling that Becky and/or HR thinks my concerns are unimportant.

I’ve put my CV together and I’ll be proceeding with a very serious job hunt as soon as my week off (next week) is over. I have no idea how long it’ll take. It’s the kind of thing where I could have another offer in two weeks, or maybe it’ll take three months.

I have a good friend at work who knows a lot of the ins and outs of the Becky saga. I’m in two minds whether to tell him about my job search. He has been quite leaky in the past, but there is some value in starting a rumour I’m leaving. Becky and I used to be good friends and I’d like to not leave on bad terms with her… I’d like to think that if she thought I was leaving she might put things behind us… but I’m probably being naive.


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