So, the mediation session was about six weeks ago now and I don’t feel it helped at all.
We were supposed to have a follow up meeting after 4 weeks but I asked to postpone it because I had other stresses in my life. I then asked to postpone it again because of various reasons and it’s going to be delayed until the end of June now.
Becky has in my opinion still been quite passive-aggressive towards me, but at a much lower level. She has talked about me to a friend at work and said she thought everything would go back to normal with me. She’s done this a few times now and it’s starting to grate because I end up having to justify myself to the friend, as she gives him the impression it’s just me refusing to get along with her. In reality, if I try to be polite to her she’ll respond with rudeness. I know this because we’ve been here twice before, and that’s exactly what happens, and I end up feeling hurt and confused. This is now the third time since January I’ve had to justify myself to the friend. I didn’t take the bait this time, I just sent her a softly worded but firm email suggesting she that speaks to me directly if she wants to improve our relationship. She replied with “noted”.
The day after I sent her that email, we had a disaster at work where somebody tried to defrost some milk in the microwave and cooked it instead, causing the carton to explode and the milk apparently got into the circuitry so the microwave stopped working. Becky discovered this and said to somebody else “some idiot has cooked the milk” in a very loud whisper within earshot of me. I am one of very few people who defrost milk in the microwave, so I’m pretty sure that was aimed at me (note: it wasn’t me, but I do know who it was). Even if it wasn’t, it’s not OK to call your colleagues idiots. Not inside the office, anyway.
There have been some discussions between her and a manager about getting some real or artificial plants in the office. I don’t know exactly what was said because I have heard all of this second hand (via the friend, so she has continued to talk about me to him), but my understanding is that a couple of days after the microwave issue, she suggested I could look after real plants. Maybe it would have been polite to ask me first?!
About a week later she actually asked me about this, but it was a bizarre conversation and she was obviously extremely uncomfortable speaking to me and didn’t mention she’d already suggested it. I think the manager must have told her to get a clear answer out of me. I just said I’d think about it (I won’t) and no more has been said yet.
To me this all seems passive-aggressive and a bit weird.
I was in two minds as to whether there was even any point in having the meeting. My counsellor advised me to postpone it and think about it rather than just cancel it, so I did. But I’m pretty sure we’re now past the point of trying to talk things out.