It’s taken me longer than I expected to start feeling relaxed about leaving my old job. I suppose that’s OK. I was there for seven years and I was definitely upset on Friday about leaving without people seeming to be aware. My last memory of quite a big chapter of my life is one of disappointment. That’s sad, and it makes sense it hurts a bit and it makes sense I’m a bit angry. But that will pass.
It’s made me think more about my life though. I think in the medium-long term, I should be aiming to be self employed. There’s no reason I couldn’t do software consultancy (and do a better job than my ex-boss). Well apart from the crippling anxiety of course. But maybe I’d have less of that if I felt more in charge of my own destiny.
Other stuff: I’m not running as much because I am still having trouble with my hip/ab. I managed a very slow run today without any real discomfort though, so that’s progress. I think I just need to stick to slow runs for a few weeks and keep doing some light core work every day. It feels like an ab muscle strain but it seems linked to my hips in that if I stretch my hip adductor I can feel it pulling in my abs. It’s definitely improved though. I just need to not push it too hard, like I did before.
So I’m spending a lot of time wandering around and drinking tea (not at the same time), which are probably my two other favourite things apart from running.
I’m putting on weight again. This is good, because I am underweight. In fact, one of the things that finally convinced me to start on anti-depressants was the fact my weight was steadily declining. So I’m pleased to see it going back up again. But I have mixed feelings. If it keeps going up, then, one day, I’m going to get on the scales and think “hmm, maybe I am eating too many croissants…”. This is a day I do not look forward to. I really have to get my hip better so I can keep the calories burning and maximise my croissant intake.
Rambles 
7 years is longer than I’ve ever been at a workplace, I can’t imagine what it was like for you to leave, except it was definitely the right thing to do.
Have you ever had a sports massage? I swear by them now. Different parts of our bodies are connected in all manner of ways you mightn’t expect. My knee hurt because I have a tight glute… I think my entire right hand side was so tight I was curled up a little to that side.
Glad you’re getting to relax and enjoy your time off. What kind of tea do you like?
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Yes, definitely the right thing to do! Even ignoring anything else, it was time for some career progression and a better salary.
Sports massage – no I haven’t but maybe I should look into it if it doesn’t improve. I think it’s just soft tissue so a massage would probably help. I am spending a lot of quality time with my foam roller though.
Tea – ooh well I’m drinking Earl Grey at the moment, but I have a bit of a routine (when I’m at home) that I’ll have one cup of Earl Grey, one cup of some kind of green tea (usually with lemon flavouring) and the rest of the time it’s just bog standard normal tea. You can’t beat a nice cup of tea 🙂 (in my opinion)
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