Soo, I saw my counsellor today…
I think the main things that came out are that I feel let down by work, and it feels like I’m leaving with unfinished business.
I feel let down by my boss specifically, because I’ve always had a lot of respect for him. I’ve always had a view of my boss as being intelligent, professional, high achieving, etc. The people I’ve had trouble with, not so much, but ultimately, it’s his company and it falls upon him to sort out issues. I’ve had higher expectations of a number of people than it turned out were justified, but he’s the one that disappoints me the most.
The unfinished business factor is still an argument going around my head. I want to say what I’m really thinking about everything even though I have nothing to gain. This will subside very quickly after Friday, but, at the moment, it’s still there.
She re-assured me a bit on the HR front. The thing with HR lady is that she has no HR experience outside of this company, and, I think it would be naive to say that she was hired here for any other reason than she’s a native Russian speaker and most of our ’employees’ are off-shore Russian contractors. It’s actually only been a very recent thing that she has any involvement in UK matters at all. My counsellor assures me that her behaviour has been bizarre and I could usually expect a lot more support from HR. I have no other experience of dealing with HR, so it’s useful to hear this. It certainly fits my perception that HR lady doesn’t know what she’s doing, but it’s useful to get someone much older and more life-experienced than me tell me this.
I don’t know when or if I will see my counsellor again though. She said she didn’t think I needed any more counselling (and I pay her £35 a session, so this is a genuine opinion) and I agree with that at the moment.
I said I’d contact her again after I’ve started my new job and let her know. But whether that will be to make an appointment or to tell her I don’t think I need to see her again… I don’t know, we’ll see.