One week to go

I have my leaving date finalised now for next Friday. So I actually get a two week break (and I’m paid for four days of it) before starting my next job.

I feel very strange about leaving. Essentially I am leaving because someone has been emotionally abusive to me and I feel very unwelcome and out of place. I have let her bully me out of my job, and I am frustrated with myself for that*. But leaving will be very beneficial to my mental health, and it’s the right thing to do for my career. If I stayed, the best case is that I’d still be bored, underpaid and undervalued. My employer doesn’t deserve me, and I deserve better. So I’m right to leave. But…

Maybe it’s because I’ve been here for seven years. I’m 32, and seven years is most of my working life. My previous job lasted for seven months. This company feels like my home. It’s where I learnt to be a professional adult. It’s going to be weird to leave it. It will be healthy, but it’s waaay out of my comfort zone, not that I find my current workplace comfortable(!).

I don’t think I’ve emotionally accepted that you can fire your employer. I know it intellectually and I’ve done it, but I don’t feel it. My boss still seems very important to me even though as of this time next week we’ll probably never see each other again.

_____

*Well, maybe I should reframe that and say my employer let it happen.

2 thoughts on “One week to go

  1. It’s hard to leave, and the important thing is that you know (even if you don’t feel) that it’s the right thing to do. One week, 5 working days! Enjoy the break & the new job. Just because something’s familiar doesn’t make it good for us. I saw a picture of an orange in which one segment had been replaced with a garlic segment, & the caption, “not everywhere you fit is where you belong”. This was meant as a supportive message, I hope it comes across that way x
    Work has a big impact on us, & as you’ve said this one has been a major part of your professional life. Can’t wait to hear about your new job & colleagues πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

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