Boss and HR lady had a meeting this morning. HR lady was very animated. I was with someone else at the time and commented that I’d never seen her animated before. She’s usually very stoic. I think my resignation took her by surprise and she took it a bit personally. Which shows some self-awareness, I suppose…
Then my boss spoke to me. He was quite conciliatory, but he didn’t ask why I was leaving (probably sensible), and didn’t make a counter-offer. He was feeling his way around it a bit though, but when I said I had accepted the other offer, he seemed to consider the matter closed.
I feel like… my boss seemed disappointed, HR lady was surprised… this was not an outcome any of the three of us wanted…
…therefore I should have done more to avoid it…
No no no. This is me all over. I can’t feel guilty when other people treat me badly. I can’t think “if only I’d given them more opportunities to treat me well”, especially when I did give them opportunities! This is not healthy.
Rambles 
From what you’ve written about the situation, you worked on your end to have a good outcome that would let you remain with the company, but they wouldn’t match your effort. Definitely don’t feel guilty!
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Mm, I’d not actually thought about it in those terms – working for a good outcome, but them not matching my effort. That’s a healthy way of looking at it, thank you!
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Therefore “they should have done more to avoid it”.
They shouldn’t’ve needed opportunities to treat you well, treating you well should be their default.
Don’t feel guilty, instead be proud of yourself! & if you ever need a reminder just read back over some of your posts & see that you deserve better.
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