7:00 Hmm, that’s blood.
8:00 Get to work, but the gate is closed (it should open at 8).
8:20 Gate opens because accountant lady appears with a key fob (by this time there are four of us standing outside). There are three people in reception, none of whom appears to have thought “maybe we should open the gate”. I can tell this is going to be a productive day.
9:30 find out manager has been in a minor car accident and needs to wait for his car to be towed before getting a taxi into the office, so much for not having to do his job today.
10:00 Hmm, that’s less blood. That’s good.
10:30 Becky comes into kitchen while I’m in there alone. She eventually says ‘morning’ after I look at her. This is the first time she has spoken to me in two months. I say ‘morning’. End of conversation. I put the milk back in the fridge without asking if she wants it.
11:00 Why am I here?
11:10 Email from Becky saying she’s taken a call for me from someone from somewhere that sounds like a recruitment agency who is asking me to phone him back. Totally unprofessional for a recruiter to phone my employer, but ignoring that… Thanks for giving me the option to speak to him?! I can’t resist a snarky response “looks like you’re not the only person to find my LinkedIn profile interesting”.
12:30 Becky has loud conversation about sandwiches standing about 2 metres from my desk. It grates a lot when she does this because we had a ‘mediation’ in March after which we agreed to ‘make an effort with each other but also give each other space’. I thought this was a dumb and all-encompassing statement which in no way helped to clarify acceptable conduct, but she has actually managed to find a way to violate it. She has been doing this a lot lately and it really stresses me for whatever reason. I could feel my anxiety rising rapidly and I had to go for a walk to convince myself not to hand in my notice there and then (serious).
13:15 Back from my walk, haven’t handed my notice in.
14:00 Spend the next few hours with my manager trying to find a workaround for a really annoying bug in other people’s software. Literally the only productive thing I did today was to work around a problem inflicted upon us by someone else.
17:15 See my counsellor and recount what seems like an extremely eventful two weeks. She thinks I should email HR lady to make something happen, because my constant wondering of whether this supposed meeting is ever going to happen is causing me a lot of day to day anxiety, and I’ve had a lot of promises from HR lady with no actual follow through. It’s true. But HR lady is usually in on only Mondays and Thursdays, and I don’t want to trigger anything stressful this Thursday as I have an interview after work, and then Becky is on holiday next week, which gives me some breathing room. So… yes, but not immediately.
20:00 I have to do this all again tomorrow?!
22:30 I don’t think I can do this all again tomorrow….